Word of Salvation – August 2017
Self-love and Neighbourly Love
Sermon by Rev. John Westendorp on Luke 10:25-37
Theme: The proper understanding of the summary command to love our neighbour as ourselves..
Introd: There is no denying that love is one of the greatest themes of the Bible.
And on our part that love extends in two directions. The summary of God’s law makes that very clear.
We are to love God will all our heart, soul, strength and mind.
And we are to love our neighbour as ourselves.
The lawyer who stood up to test Jesus was spot on when he summed up God’s law in that way.
And the rest of the Bible reaffirms it in numerous ways.
Peter was asked three times by Jesus: Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me?
And John in his first letter tells us that if we say we love God yet hate our brothers we are liars.
So this morning the summary of the law that Jesus endorses comes as no surprise to us.
We’ve known it for a long, long time.
We’ve grown up with the idea that we need to love God and our neighbour.
That is just not up for debate. We are to love God with all our being.
And we are to love our neighbour as ourselves.
But there is a problem with this summary of the law. It is often misread and misunderstood.
And I’m sorry if this morning I burst your bubble if you understand it in this wrong way.
Many people today would say that we haven’t yet done justice to this command to LOVE.
Unless… unless somewhere along the line we also talk about loving OURSELVES.
In fact for many people today the first and great commandment is this:
Thou shalt love thyself…! They argue: if you don’t then you can’t love others.
I would go so far as to say that this neatly sums up the spirit of our age.
Our self-centred “me-generation” has this as its great commandment: Love yourselves!
Let me explain. It is not surprising that the cult of self-esteem is very prevalent in our society.
It has been for a generation or more. It has motivated much of modern psychology.
It was popularised in books such as “I’m Ok, You’re Ok!”
And the trouble is that the Christian church climbed onto this self-esteem bandwagon.
There’s a popular well-known televangelist in America who majors on this.
So today there will be many sermons and Christian books and periodicals that promote this idea.
They will tell you that man’s basic problem lies in a low self-esteem.
And if only a man has a sense of self-worth he’ll be a much better man for it.
A woman must have a goodly dose of self-acceptance before she can fully serve God & others.
And the Bible text most commonly quoted for spreading this message of self-esteem, is this text:
You shall love your neighbour as yourself!
Many articles and books on the subject of self-esteem will quote this text.
They will say: There you have it. It’s there in those words: “as you love yourself”.
It’s not my purpose today to expound the whole parable of the Good Samaritan.
Rather I want us to simply look at the summary of the law as Jesus endorses it.
And then to see what Jesus meant by the words: You shall love your neighbour as yourself!
Did Jesus really mean that our first priority is a call for us to love ourselves?
A] THE OLD PROBLEM – WHO IS MY NEIGHBOUR?
- I find it interesting that already in Jesus’ day this command was misunderstood.
However the misunderstanding hinged on the word “NEIGHBOUR”.
Among the Jews there raged a debate as to who precisely constituted “a neighbour”?
Most Jewish leaders agreed that the neighbour was only the fellow Jew.
Gentiles (non-Jews) were certainly not to be regarded as neighbours.
Worse: some sects, such as the Pharisees even wanted to limit it even more.
The neighbour was really only another Pharisee.
So tell us please, Jesus! Solve this debate among us.
How far do we have to go in this whole matter of neighbourly love? Who is our neighbour?
That’s a question that has probably often been asked in good faith.
It may even have been asked sometimes out of genuine ignorance.
And so Jesus goes on to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan.
Apparently He does that to help this man solve the question: Who is my neighbour?
However let’s just probe a little deeper. This man has come to Jesus with a question about eternal life.
But according to doctor Luke this man’s question is not sincere.
Luke tells us that he comes to test Jesus. “An expert of the law stood up to test Jesus.”
A trick question for the Rabbi from Nazareth.
Under the disguise of a personal question he tries to tangle Jesus up in a theological debate.
“What must I do to inherit eternal life?”
The trouble is that Jesus knows the man’s true motives so he throws the question back to him:
“What is written in the law…how do you read it?”
And when the man answers: Love God with all your being and your neighbour as yourself…!
then Jesus does no more than agree with Him.
But you see, that puts the expert in the law on the spot.
Everyone standing there listening would realise his insincerity.
Everyone saw immediately that he DID know the answer to the question he asked.
This man is now exposed as a hypocrite…a deceiver. Everyone sees it.
This man has just been trying to tangle Jesus up in an academic debate.
- So what will this man now do? Will he admit that his only interest was a theological debate?
And that he wasn’t really interested in the question about eternal life?
Will he cry out, “Lord, be merciful to me a hypocrite and deceiver?”
Or will he do what people often do when they are caught out? Try to save face somehow?
Our text reads: But he wanted to justify himself, he wanted to justify himself and therefore asks Jesus.
And then he raises this old debate that the Jewish teachers had argued through long ages:
Who is my neighbour? So this question isn’t asked out ignorance. It isn’t asked in good faith.
I’m afraid that what is actually happening here so often happens with us as human beings.
We get in a Bible study group and we debate an issue…
not because we have genuine lack of knowledge about a certain issue…
nor because we have a real intellectual problem with God’s Word…
but because that Word of God has touched our conscience so we try to justify ourselves.
Let me give you just one example that you may be able to relate to:
Sometimes the subject of witnessing has come up in discussion – perhaps in a home group.
And then not surprisingly, someone asks in that context:
“But aren’t our WORKS more important than our WORDS?”
We introduce a debate. A debate about the relative importance of our deeds vs our message.
Why do we do that? Is that really because we genuinely need guidance on that issue…?
Is it because we don’t know the relation between our works and our words?
I would suggest that more often than not it’s because we feel guilty.
We know we don’t always witness as we ought.
So we introduce a debate: HOW should we witness? In word or in deed?
Or think of a family situation – our children are often very good at doing the same thing:
Sometimes young children do something thing over and over in an exasperating way.
Maybe you’ve said to junior: Mummy is sick and tired of you always back-answering.
You are to stop it… and if you do it again you will be punished
Having laid down the law junior meekly asks: Mummy, what is back-answering?
There is no repentance and no asking for forgiveness.
Instead there is an attempt to involve mother in debate.
- Do you see what happened to this expert in the O.T.?
Instead of repentance at his failure to live up to the God’s commands…
there was only evasion… drag in a red herring: But who is my neighbour?
Do you know what this man’s real problem is? His self-esteem got in the road.
That’s why there is no repentance. And no acknowledgement of his failings.
This is the problem with what we call our self-esteem… our ego:
We are people who are naturally inclined to manage our own affairs…
we maintain our pride and are reluctant to admit wrong.
We’re always seeking to secure our own esteem and glory in front of others…
even if that means asking evasive questions
especially when the Word of God sometimes bites deep into our souls.
Here was a man who believed that the real problem was not his own proud heart;
It was not his own unwillingness to repent..!
Instead he preferred to think that there was something ambiguous in the word “neighbour”.
It seems to me then that rather than take this summary of God’s command…
“Love your neighbour as yourself” as an implied command to love ourselves…
it is in fact the very opposite – this man loved himself too much.
His trouble was precisely his own self-esteem. So he tried to justify his own disobedience.
B] THE NEW PROBLEM – I SHOULD LOVE MYSELF.
- Today we make a different mistake about this verse.
In Jesus’ day the error hinged on the word ‘neighbour’; the error today hinges on the word ‘ourselves’.
It is said repeatedly that this summary of the law is an implied commandment to love ourselves.
That in fact we cannot really relate well to our neighbour UNLESS we have first learnt self-love.
I believe that there are two mistakes people make at this point.
Firstly, it is suggested that the words “as yourself” imply a command.
It is assumed that Jesus is calling people to make sure that they love themselves.
And that as they love themselves they will then also be able to love others.
I want to say categorically that this is in no way such a command.
Jesus is not saying: Love your neighbour just as you should also love yourself.
Rather He is saying: Love your neighbour just as you in fact already do love yourself.
The second part of that sentence is not a command. It is a statement.
Jesus is taking it for granted that we do love ourselves. That is an assumption He makes.
- But there is a second mistake made by people who follow this line.
They assume that loving oneself is the same as self-esteem and self-acceptance.
This command has repeatedly been associated with a positive self-image.
It is quoted in that context by many people on numerous occasions.
Please – let me hasten to say that I am not at all against a positive self-image.
A Christian can have a positive self-image in a way that no one else can.
A Christian knows where he comes from; he knows why he’s here; he knows where he’s going.
A Christian is made in God’s image… a Child of God thru faith… destined for glory.
And if that doesn’t lead to a positive self-image then nothing else will.
But the point is that those things that lead to a positive self-image are especially the result of the gospel.
They are blessings that flow out of the work of Jesus for us and in us.
But to command someone that they must love themselves…
is like telling them to lift themselves up by their own shoe-laces.
A further problem is that people really confuse these two things.
Self-image and self-love. They are not the same.
For us it’s the gospel that brings about a positive self-image, self-esteem.
But self-love is simply us seeking and desiring our own good.
And I know of no command anywhere in the Bible for us to love ourselves.
Jesus simply assumes that we do love ourselves.
In fact – that is just the very heart of the problem.
Again and again our self-esteem and self-love get in the road.
Even to the point that we think we can save ourselves… and not rely on the gospel of grace.
What must I do…what must I do to inherit eternal life.
That is a question asked here by a man with heaps of self-esteem.
- This morning I could also support this from other parts of Scripture.
In Eph. 5:29 the Word of God says: “After all no one ever hated his own body,
but he feeds and cares for it just as Christ does the church.”
It seems to me that Jesus never entertained the thought
that there might be a man or woman who did not love themselves.
At this point I can just imagine some of you protesting:
Okay, Jesus assumes that we do all love ourselves. But is that really always the case?
Surely there are people who do have a very negative self-image.
Some people evidently don’t love themselves because they neglect themselves.
In fact just think of those who commit suicide. Surely it’s not self-love that makes people do that.
Please… I don’t want to oversimplify serious problems.
But I think that there are answers to this: Our self-love is often so perverted.
People fulfil their self-love in all sorts of twisted ways.
They do it with drugs, narcotics, alcohol, fast cars, illicit sex.
And to put it bluntly – even suicide can be the ultimate in self-love…
the desire to solve our own problems in a quick way to escape an impossible situation.
We are experts in self-love. No matter how perverted that self-love may sometimes be.
And the last thing we need is to be told that we must love ourselves.
C] THE TRUE INTERPRETATION – SELF DENIAL.
- We have seen then that the lawyer misunderstood this summary of the law.
He attempted to restrict the meaning of the word “neighbour”.
It’s nice and comfortable when we can narrow this command down to our own little clique.
If we can somehow make the word “neighbour” mean folk in our own congregation
or maybe even our own family… then we can nicely cover up our real problem:
And that problem is our failure to be the kind of people that God calls us to be.
As long as we keep on debating who our neighbour is then we will never be the kind of people
who have such a heart full of love that they just cannot pass by on the other side of the road.
We also saw that we so often misunderstand this command today.
We put a wrong stress on the words “as yourself”.
Again it’s nice and comfortable to assume that Jesus commands self-esteem or self-acceptance here.
Then we can always make excuses for our failure to live up to this commandment.
We blame it on the probability that maybe we haven’t learned enough self-love yet.
That again helps us to cover up our real failure.
The failure to put aside our own self-interest for that person in need.
Notice that Jesus does not allow this lawyer an easy way out.
He will have nothing to do with the question: Who is my neighbour?
He doesn’t even answer it in a straight-forward manner.
- That’s why Jesus tells this parable of that man lying half dead by the roadside.
About the Priest and then the Levite. Both of them passed by on the other side.
But then came that Samaritan…
and he used his own wine and oil, treated his wounds
brought him on his own donkey to an inn and paid all expenses
and even offers to stop by on his return in case he hasn’t paid enough.
And then Jesus puts the ball right back in the court of the lawyer.
Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to that wounded man?
And when the lawyer answers Jesus only says one thing: “Go and do likewise!”
The real problem IS NOT that we have difficulty deciding who our neighbour is.
The real problem is that we need to become the kind of people
who are not going to stand around the victims of this world
debating about whether or not they qualify for our support as neighbours.
We need to become the kind of people who are willing to upset our own busy schedules…
risk some of our possessions and pride so as to be God’s hands of mercy.
- But Jesus will not allow a way out either by seeing here a call for self-love.
Instead Jesus cuts right across all our self-love and all our self-seeking.
Jesus assumes there is already a great force of self-love in the human heart.
Jesus is really saying: Just look at all the zeal and energy; the ingenuity you use in getting ahead in life.
and all the effort you engage in making it in your career and in your society.
But now take all that dedication and zeal – and with it seek your needy neighbour’s wellbeing.
Jesus makes all our self-seeking the measure of our self-giving.
That really boils down to: Not self-love…but self-denial.
It faces us with the need for lots of repentance every day again.
It makes us realise that there is nothing that we do can ever earn us eternal life.
It focuses us on our need for God’s grace, the saving work of Jesus.
And it makes us pray for the Holy Spirit in our lives day by day.
Dear friends… be the kind of people who are unwilling to cross by on the other side of the road…
People who are unwilling to sit around debating who our neighbours are.
Let’s not be folk engaged in evangelical navel-gazing, wondering if we have enough self-love..
Instead let’s keep our eyes fixed on Jesus the Author and finisher of our salvation.
And then with His love in our hearts be the people who know how to be a neighbour.
Amen!