Word of Salvation – Vol. 46 No.34 – September 2001

 

If Your Brother Sins…

 

Sermon by Rev J Haverland

on Matthew 18:15-17; Heidelberg Catechism LD 31

Scripture Readings: Matthew 16:13-20; Proverbs 25:6-18

Suggested Hymns: PsH: 159; 278; 479

 

Congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ,

What would you do if you knew that someone in the church was doing something that was sinful – something that was clearly against God’s law?  You know that this person is failing to live up to God’s standards in a particular area of his life.  Now this sin is not widely known.  You know about it, but it’s certainly not public knowledge.  It seems as though others in the church do not know about it.  I say, “it seems”, because you haven’t gone around asking anyone whether they know – you haven’t taken a survey!

So what do you do?  Well, that partly depends on how we interpret the two words, “against you.”  You’ll see a footnote in your NIV Bible telling you that these words are not in some manuscripts so there is some doubt as to whether they should be included.  (If you have the NASB these words are left out of the text and are included in the footnote).

If these words should be there, it is making this sin more specific.  “If your brother sins against you”; that is, he has done something that affects you, it bothers you, it concerns you, it was against you.  If it is against you, what should you do?

You could let it pass.  The Scriptures tell us to “love each other deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins” (1Pet.4:8; cf.Prov.10:12).  If we had to go and see someone every time we felt they had said something or done something against us, then we would be very busy people.  There are all sorts of minor irritations and slights and words that we should be prepared to overlook.  Let’s not be too sensitive.  Let’s not be too quick to take offence at what others say about us or do to us.

Now it may not be something minor, and you may not be able to overlook it; you may not be able to cover it over.  Then you need to go and see that person.  You need to do what Jesus commands here.

Jesus also commands us to see our brother if we know that things are not right between us.  He describes this in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 (vss.23-24) when He talks about offering your gift at the temple and then remembering that your brother has something against you.  Jesus says, “Leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

But what if these words “against you” are left out?  Then it would read, “If your brother sins.”  That makes it more general.  You see a sin in his life – it doesn’t affect you directly, but it is definitely wrong – what do you do?  Well, you do what Jesus commands you to do – you go and see him.

You need to be sure that this sin is something serious, something that gives you a lot of concern, a genuine transgression against God’s law, a failure to live up to God’s standards.  You see, if he doesn’t listen to you, you need to be prepared to follow it up by bringing others along with you.  That should make you pause and consider whether you should raise this.  This takes wisdom and prayer.

As you consider this prayerfully, you decide you must go to see him.  So how do you go about this?  What do you do?  How should you approach this matter?  Here Jesus gives us a clear outline of the procedure we should follow.  It involves three steps.

THE FIRST STEP: “You go and show him his fault”

You go to him.

This is hard.  It’s not easy to go to someone and tell him he is wrong.  So you might be tempted to do nothing – to sit on it.  But that’s a dangerous thing.

If the person has sinned against you, and if you can’t let love cover over that sin, then you are going to brood on it.  You have not forgiven him from your heart.  Resentment and bitterness will creep in.  You will hold that sin against him and it will cause friction between the two of you.  Then you are sinning, and that will be damaging for your relationship with him and with the Lord.

It is also dangerous if it a general sin – not one against you specifically.  If you ignore it, then you are leaving that person in spiritual danger.  That’s why the Scriptures encourage us to follow this through.  Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.”

James 5:19-20 says, “My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner away from his error will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”  So don’t sit on it.  Do something – go to him.

You might say, “Yes, this must be followed up!  Someone needs to speak to this person.  I’ll phone the pastor so he can go and visit him!  I’ll write to the elders and they can get onto it.”

But that’s not what Jesus says; you must go and show him his fault.  You know about it – you go and do it.  The process of church discipline doesn’t begin with the session, it ends with the session.  It begins with us as church members.  Every one of us ought to have concern for the spiritual well-being of others in the church.  That concern begins privately and personally and informally.  You go and see that person.  Don’t pass the buck.

You go and “show him his fault”.

Go with the right aim: the aim is to help that person see his sin.  The aim is not to prove you are right!  Nor is it to “sort him out!”; nor to “do your Christian duty”!; nor is it to “teach them a lesson”!; nor are you going just to “get it off your chest.”

No, the aim is to show them their fault.  The Greek word can mean to convict, convince, point out, to expose, to bring to light.  That’s what you are trying to achieve.  Keep that in mind.  You are trying to win a brother over, to persuade your sister.  That means you must go with the right manner.  Go with a humble attitude – don’t act as though you have it all together; don’t go self-righteously, don’t be proud.

And be gentle.  This isn’t easy to do.  When we decide we must speak to someone, most of us have to work up the courage to do that.  So we think about it for a while and we prepare ourselves.  We are like a bottle of champagne that has been shaken up for a while.  When we finally get to speak to them the top comes off and everything pours out in a great rush and we are harsh and abrasive.  Instead, we must be kind and gentle.

Ephesians 4:15 calls us to speak the truth, in love.  And Galatians 6:1 says, “If someone is caught in any sin, those who are spiritual should restore him gently.”  Or listen to Proverbs 25:15, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

Consider how the Lord Jesus dealt with sinners.  He was tough and straightforward with unrepentant hypocrites like the Pharisees; but with your ‘average sinner’ He was gentle and compassionate.  Let’s follow His example: go with the right aim and with the right attitude – be humble and gentle.

And go on your own.  Do this, “just between the two of you.”  Literally: “between you and him alone.”  Here is something to take careful note of.  Far too often the person who is sinning is the last one to be spoken to.  Instead we go and speak to everyone else; we talk to others about that person’s sin; we talk to members of our family and to our friends.  That is gossip; and gossip is harmful and destructive.  “A perverse man stirs up dissension and a gossip separates close friends” (Prov.16:28).

So if you have a difficulty with what someone has done as a general sin, or as a sin against you, please don’t go around telling everyone about it.  Speak to the person concerned and to no one else.

And don’t allow others to gossip to you.  Discourage gossip and slander.  Don’t be a listening ear.  Direct the gossiper to the person concerned.  Ask him, “Have you spoken to that person about your problem?”

Now there is a place for getting advice.  You may be unsure what to do and may need some advice.  You may want to go to your pastor or your elder and say, “What should I do?”  Sometimes it is wise to get some counsel – but don’t use that as an excuse for gossip.

This then is the first step in dealing with clear sin in people’s lives.  If you go to your brother and “he listens to you, then you have won your brother over” (vs.15).

But it is possible that he may not listen.  Then you need to involve others.  Then you go to The SECOND STEP: “Take one or two others along” (vs.16).

Notice that this proceeds gradually and that it involves a minimum number of people.  The rest of the church doesn’t need to know at this stage.  Keep it close.

When you are thinking about who to take with you, be sure you choose wise people who will be able to make a sound judgment.  People whom you respect and who you think the other will listen to.  The aim is to win him over.  The presence of others will add weight to your concern.  It will show the other person that you are serious about this and that this is a solemn matter.

These people will also act as witnesses if the case should go further.  Jesus is quoting from the Old Testament here because in Old Testament law a man could not be convicted on the testimony of one witness, there had to be two or three (Deut.19:15).  In his letter to Timothy (1 Tim 5:19), Paul says we should not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.

However, it’s possible that even after these people have spoken to him, the sinner is still not willing to listen.  If that happens then the matter should be made public to the church – that is, to the elders and to the congregation.

The THIRD STEP: Vs 17 – “Tell it to the church”

The aim is still restoration: that the combined concern and admonition of the people of the church will prompt a change of mind and heart.  “Church” here means the local body of believers – all of us – office bearers and members.

If he doesn’t listen, then we are to treat him as a pagan and a tax collector.  The Jews regarded these two groups of people as being outside of the nation of Israel and outside of the kingdom of God.  This is how we should view the unrepentant sinner – that person is outside of the church and the kingdom of God.

The word we use to describe this final step in church discipline is “excommunication”.  It is the declaration by the church that we regard this person as being outside of the communion of the saints; we do not regard him as belonging to Christ or to his people.  Church discipline closes the door of the kingdom.  This is a very serious thing to say and this step is only taken after much thought, time and prayer.  But there are times when the church must say this about a person.

The goal is still restoration.  So the door of the church is always open to such a person.  Our prayer is that he may repent and come back to the church and return to a communion with Christ and with his people.

Most of us are fairly familiar with the process I have just described.  But we need to be reminded of it.  We need to hear it again because we forget.  We need reminding that this is what we must do – this is the procedure to follow.  We need reminding that we are our brother’s keepers.  We should have a mutual concern for each other.

And we need to hear this because we are sinners.  We know what we ought to do but we don’t do it.  We avoid raising issues and we try to ignore problems.  When we see sin, our natural inclination is to talk to others rather than the person.  So we need to heed the command of Jesus.

If you don’t do this, you will bring disunity and division and conflict into the body of the Lord Jesus.  You will separate yourself from others and you will separate one from another.  Division like this will bring great harm to your own life, to your relationships with others and to the church of the Lord Jesus.

If you do follow this pattern then you will help promote unity and peace in the church.  We can be sure that following this practice will keep us from much dissension and strife.

This is the church of the Lord Jesus – He is the Head of the church – we are part of His body.  We belong to Him.  Peace in the church is a wonderful blessing, a beautiful gift of the Lord.  You need to do all you can to maintain it.  So if you see sin – then follow it up – but in the right manner: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph.4:2-3).

Amen.