Word of Salvation – Vol.48 No.33 – September 2003

 

Forgiveness Shapes Our Character

Sermon by Rev A Quak

on Philemon 4-7

 

Scripture Readings: Luke 17:1-10; Philemon 1-25

Suggested Hymns: BoW 57a; 357; 424; Rej 306

 

Congregation of the Lord Jesus Christ.

We live in a society which is pushing us more and more to be an unforgiving people. In the past, conciliation was seen as the way to resolve disputes. The commonplace response now is retaliation. Take the recent insurance crises among doctors as an example.

Why is there a problem? Because those who are committed to saving lives, and helping people, and restoring dignity, have to protect themselves against a society that increasingly doesn’t say thanks, but sues instead. Nowadays it seems that every minuscule problem requires a court decision to sort it out – sorting out of problems for which, in the past, people just forgave each other. And has it helped? No! We still have a society filled with bitterness, vengeance, anger, hate and hostility toward others. A society which shows no restraint. A society which is failing to forgive.

In many ways Philemon lives in a society like this. Even though we have read the whole book, let me give you a snapshot of what is happening.

Paul the Apostle is writing a letter to his friend Philemon. Philemon lives in Colosse and the church in that town met at his place – so Philemon was wealthy. His wealth enabled him to have slaves, whom he treated very well. However, one of them ran away.

The slave, named Onesimus, ran away to Rome. There, by God’s grace, Onesimus met Paul, and Paul was instrumental in Onesimus coming to faith. So great was the transformation that Onesimus became a very useful helper to Paul.

But there is a practical problem. Paul knows Philemon and he knows that Onesimus belongs to Philemon. At the moment a dispute exists between Philemon and Onesimus who are now brothers in the Lord. Onesimus is now going back to Philemon, and Paul has written a letter to Philemon asking him to forgive Onesimus and take him back.

That is the situation of Philemon and it is happening in a society which says, “don’t forgive”, especially when it comes to slaves. Society says brand Onesimus with an “F” on his forehead. “F”, which stands for fugitive. But Paul, the ambassador of Jesus Christ says, “just forgive him. No matter how much it costs you to forgive.”

We realise that it is going to take a lot of character to forgive in this circumstance. But Paul knows Philemon pretty well. In fact, verses 4-7 of this book are a character report. They tell us about the kind of person who will be a forgiver. One who will forgive in this circumstance and in all circumstances. As we take a closer look at the character of Philemon we are faced with a challenge – do we want to fulfil our duty to forgive?

In some ways we shouldn’t even be asking this question. If we profess to be Christians, then we must want to. We must be people who have this character. Of course, we want to be people who fulfil our duty. So it’s important that we learn what kind of person it takes to be a forgiver.

Paul says of Philemon in verse 5: “I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus…” and again in verse 6: “I pray… that you will have a full understanding of everything we have in Christ.” Philemon is a forgiver. A forgiver has a character which let’s the Lord Jesus set His priorities.

Clearly Philemon has a concern for the Lord Jesus Christ. He wants to make Jesus, and the claims of Jesus in his life number one. Yes, whatever we do, in word or deed, we do it all for the glory of Christ. Our Christian life, with all its deeds, and joys, and works, and responsibilities, is lived for Christ’s sake, for Christ’s Name, for Christ’s praise and for Christ’s glory. And that sets the course for the priorities of Philemon.

In effect Paul is saying:

Philemon, you have a true saving faith. You’re a genuine Christian and therefore you have the ability to forgive.

Philemon, you have the impulses of the new life. You experience the conviction of the Word of God. You have been forgiven, so you can forgive.

Philemon, you walk by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. You express trust in Him in everything. You seek His will. I know you can forgive.

When Christ sets our priorities, these things can be said, whether we are Philemon, or Tom, Dick and Harry, or Jane, Margaret and Anna. If we are in the Lord Jesus, we know we have been forgiven an unpayable debt. Jesus has taken what we owe and cancelled it all. The work of the cross makes us forgiven people who are forgiving people. And that will affect our attitude.

Let me give a small example. You are driving on the freeway and accidentally cut someone off. Or maybe you are driving a little slower than what they want you to. What happens? Either they sit behind you honking their horn or pull alongside and make some obscene gestures. But do you know what’s sad. It’s when that car overtakes you and you notice a fish sticker on the back window.

Forgiven people don’t act like that. And if you want to act like that, first take the sticker off your car, because you’re giving Christ a bad name, and then have a look at your heart. Do you really understand what forgiveness is? And what the forgiveness of Christ really means to you? A Christian character is one that allows Jesus to set the priorities, and Jesus’ priority was to forgive.

What else does Paul say about Philemon’s character? Have a look at verse 5: “I hear about your … love for all the saints.” And again, in verse 7: “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.” Philemon is a forgiver. A forgiver has a character that makes other people a priority.

As we think about this, let’s not forget the material status of Philemon. He was a wealthy man. Good at business. Good at making deals. Able to make a buck. But he didn’t allow his business priorities to negate his priority for people. Those who came in contact with Philemon went away “refreshed”. It’s a military term used for an army that takes a march, stops and rests. But it goes deeper than that because Philemon refreshes the hearts – the heart, which is the seat of our emotions.

Philemon, there are people in trouble, people with hurt feelings, people suffering and struggling, and these people have found you to be a blessing. You refreshed them. You renew them. Philemon, you are a person of instinctive kindness, one who is concerned not with your own defences, but to see people strengthened.

We have all had enough personal experience to know that it is easy to tear people down. To make them feel worthless and crush their spirit. But that is not the character of a refresher. Ours is to be a character that says:

I don’t want to bring trouble in your life.

I don’t want to make unrest.

I don’t want to bring disturbance.

Instead, I want to love you with the love of Christ.

We call it “agape love”. It is the love of choice, love of will, love of self-sacrifice, love of humility. It’s the kind of love that says: I don’t care about myself, I care about you. I want to make you a priority because other people, not me, other people are a priority, even when they have hurt me.

That’s the character of Philemon; but there is even more. This time have a look at verse 6: “I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.” Philemon is a forgiver. A forgiver has a character that wants personal spiritual growth to be a priority.

It’s a little difficult to see this character trait in our text, but it starts by recognising the concept behind the phrase “full understanding”. Basically, Paul is talking here about Christian experience. And we don’t have to be afraid of experiences, for this is what turns knowledge of God into fellowship with God.

We’ve all sat down and read books that showed some guy skiing over a snowy mountain. There’s the snow flying by. The beauty and wonder of it all. The knowledge that this brings a thrill and exhilaration. But there’s a lot of difference between looking at the picture in the book and coming down the mountain.

In the same way we can read the pages of the Bible and come to a definition of what forgiveness looks like. But we will never have a deep understanding until … what? … until I forgive and experience it. And by doing it, we grow. And when it comes to the issue of forgiveness, we should never stop growing.

The body of Christ is not about individualism. It’s not about me and my hurts, and disappointments, and frustrations, and pain. The body of Christ is about belonging. Us, belonging together through thick and thin. And it is in this body that we grow. And Paul is challenging Philemon to grow, and through that, to help others to grow.

Philemon, if you forgive this guy, it’s going to have a powerful impact. He committed an act which could have him branded for life. Society says you can. But if you just forgive this guy, it is going to send an even stronger message to the church about the priority of belonging.

Philemon, it doesn’t matter what a man does to you or what a woman does to you. If you can take that person back and embrace that person in love, you have made a strong statement about your concern for fellowship.

Philemon, let this situation make you grow. And the church will grow with you.

So we come back to the original challenge. Do we want to be forgivers? Of course we do. Then that’s the character we need. Being forgivers who let the Lord Jesus set our priorities. Being forgivers who make other people our priority. Being forgivers who want personal spiritual growth to be our priority. The result of having such a character will mean that, for us as Christians, a failure to forgive will become unthinkable.

And you can apply that to any issue you care to name. You can apply that to any offence you can think of. You can even apply it to any hurt you have been through.

No matter what you think, the fact still remains. When forgiveness is asked from you, and you fail to forgive, then you have committed a blatant act of disobedience. And that is strong language. But it is Biblical language. It’s the language that Jesus uses. Think about the reading from Luke 17:1-10 for a moment. Jesus has some words to say about those who commit an offence: “Woe to them.” So Jesus doesn’t let them off the hook when it comes to their responsibility. But Jesus also has words for those who have been hurt. “If he sins against you seven times a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent’, forgive him.” When it comes to our dealings with one another in the Lord, there are no ifs, not buts and no maybes.

Forgiveness is a duty. In fact it is such a strong duty that we can’t even hide behind the excuse of not having enough faith. The apostles tried that, didn’t they? They heard a difficult teaching and know they will have trouble complying and so they say, “Lord, increase our faith.” But it is not a matter of faith. It’s like the man who looks after sheep all day, then must serve dinner to his master, and then must wait till the dishes are clean before he can eat. He can only say, “This is my duty”. That’s how it is for us. Forgiveness is a duty. Lack of forgiveness is disobedience. That is the language that Jesus uses.

Now I know that is a hard thing to hear. And I know we can all think about circumstances where forgiveness has been difficult, indeed almost impossible. Or there are going to be times when the issue of forgiveness just doesn’t get raised. Of course that’s going to happen.

Let’s face it. We hurt each other all the time. We misinterpret people. We second-guess each other. We make the wrong assumptions about one another. We gossip about each other and presume we know the motives of one another. If we were to deal in minute detail with every one of those issues, we would be spending all day seeking and offering forgiveness. There are occasions – many occasions – when the wisdom of 1 Peter 4:8 prevails: “Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Or take another example – the example of dealing with people who have really hurt you, but who don’t seek forgiveness. It might be a rebellious family member, or one who has walked away from the faith. It might be the hurt you have endured at the hands of one who doesn’t know Christ and is not compelled by the forgiveness of God. We meet these situations all the time and it may be impossible to show forgiveness in those situations, but in those situations I suspect our calling is to exercise the fruits of the Spirit.

There are going to be circumstances, but they will be more the exception than the rule. The rule is – you have a duty. You have a duty to ask the Holy Spirit to give you the right character. The Lord sets the priority. People are a priority. Growth is a priority.

And that will only come when we understand Jesus. When we understand the sacrifice He made. When we understand the forgiveness He was willing to extend to us. And it will only grow when we seek the power of the Holy Spirit. We have to ask – ask the Spirit to give us a character that goes against a society that doesn’t want to forgive. Asking for a character which, finds no joy in retaliation, is not interesting in pursuing financial gain, accepts the difficult people in life, and wants to help people who hurt you.

That is the duty that Jesus calls us to. For the sake of Christ can we do any less?

Amen.