Word of Salvation – Vol. 48 No.12 – March 2003
Honour Parents and Others in Authority Over You
Sermon by Rev M P Geluk
on Lord’s Day 39
Scripture Readings: Proverbs 4; Hebrews 12: 7-11
Suggested Hymns: BoW 89b; 32; 174; 181
Congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ.
We proclaim God’s Word to you about the fifth commandment, which is about the honouring of parents and others in authority over us. The following story may teach us something.
“Once upon a time there was a father who had grown old and frail. His eyes blinked and his hands trembled. When he ate, he clattered the cutlery against the plate, missed his mouth with the fork and spoon as often as not, dribbled food on his shirt and dirtied the tablecloth.
Now he lived with his married son having nowhere else to live, and his son’s wife was a modern, young woman who knew that in-laws should be kept in their proper place in a woman’s home.
‘I can’t stand this old man being a disgrace,’ she said. ‘It interferes with a woman’s right to happiness.’
So she and her husband took the old father by the arm and led him to a corner in the kitchen. There they sat him on a stool and gave him his food, what there was of it, in an earthenware bowl.
From then on the old man always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes. One day his hands trembled more than usual, and the earthenware bowl fell and broke.
‘If you start behaving like a pig,’ said the daughter-in-law, ‘then you will have to eat out of a trough.’
So they made him a little wooden trough and he got his meals in that.
Now these people had a four-year old son of whom they were very fond. One meal time the young father noticed his boy playing intently with some bits of wood and asked him what he was doing. ‘I’m making a trough,’ he said, smiling and looking up for approval, ‘so that I can feed you and mummy when I’m big.’
The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. They just cried a little. Then they went to the corner and took the frail, old father by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and gave him his food on a plate, and from then on no one scolded him again when he clattered or spilled or broke things.”
[Landmarks Marking, Bible Way, Unit 6, lesson 8]1. Honouring parents and others in authority is to be done for God’s sake.
It’s in our human nature to do things for our own sake. We often think of ourselves first and it shows up the selfishness in us. We might tell ourselves that we’d better obey our parents or else we’ll get into trouble. We think the same about teachers and others in authority over us. It’s best to do what they say, or else we’re in for a lot of strife. We’re inclined to obey for our own sake.
But God wants us to obey those in authority over us for His sake. When we do things for God’s sake, then often there is a blessing for us as well. If we honour and obey parents because God commanded it, then we are fulfilling a purpose of God. God has given us the family, and the parents have been given the task to raise their children in a way that helps them know and love Jesus. The family as a God-given institution is beneficial for God’s church on earth and for His kingdom in the world. Such children also become good citizens in society.
It’s the same with obeying others whom God has put in authority over us. God has a purpose with it. He has put these structures in society so that society can function in peace and justice, and its people experience well-being.
Let’s look at some examples. The first is the sons of Noah. Noah had sinned by becoming drunk from drinking too much wine and in his intoxicated state lay uncovered inside his tent (Gen 9:20 ff). One of his sons, Ham, saw his father lying there without any dignity and despised his father. Maybe he laughed with ridicule. When he told his brothers, Ham must have vented his feelings of contempt towards his father.
Noah’s drunkenness was, of course, a shameful thing and children would find it difficult to respect a father in such a state. But Shem and Japheth, the other two sons, saw it as their duty to protect their father from his own humiliation and covered him up. As they did so they turned their faces away so that they would not see their father’s nakedness. As such they kept themselves from loathing their father and in doing so they treated him with respect, even though Noah had sinned. They knew in their hearts that God still expected them to honour their father.
Then there was Isaac. He and his father Abraham were walking to Mt Moriah where Abraham had to sacrifice his son according to God’s command. Isaac did not yet know this (Gen 22:3 ff). Abraham was struggling deeply with the horrible thing God had asked from him. When Isaac asked where the lamb for the sacrifice was, then Abraham said that God would provide the lamb.
When they reached their destination, Abraham proceeded to tie Isaac on the altar and he then knew that he was the sacrifice. But on the way and when he was put on the altar, Isaac honoured his father by trusting that somehow it was God’s will. Isaac obeyed his father because he realised his father was obeying God. God will provide, his father had said. At the last minute God, of course, stopped Abraham from killing his son. It had all been a test for Abraham. And for Isaac, too.
Absalom, one of David’s sons, had done a terrible thing when he murdered his brother Amnon, who had raped his sister. These terrible things had come on David’s house because he himself had sinned badly against God. Absalom escaped into exile after he killed his brother but in time David allowed him back.
When Absalom finally met up again with his father, then the Bible says he bowed down with his face to the ground before the king (2 Sam 14:33). It seemed as if Absalom honoured his father. But he did not do it for God’s sake, nor for his father’s sake. He did it for his own sake. What he was really after was his father’s kingdom. He merely pretended to honour his father because he needed to stay in his good books while he was hatching his plans to take over the throne.
The best example of a son honouring his father was Jesus. He honoured His heavenly Father in every way, even to death on the cross because He knew that it was the only way to save guilty sinners from their sins. Jesus was like Isaac, but more was asked of Jesus for He became the sacrifice. And Jesus also honoured others whom God had put in authority. He instructed the people to pay their taxes to the government, and He submitted Himself to the judgment of Pilate the judge, although He knew, of course, that in that unfair judgment God was fulfilling His plan of salvation.
We must honour our parents not only when they are great parents but also when they’re not, because God gave them that role. It’s the same with others in authority over us. We must respect the government, the teachers at school, the police and the deacons, elders and minister in church. We must do it for God’s sake.
A country needs a government. It’s an institution God has put in place (Rom 13:1). Its task is to govern society and that involves protecting the weak and punishing the wrongdoer. It means raising taxes to pay for the things governments must do. We may not like everything the government does and in our day the government and the politicians cop a lot of criticism. But not all politicians act corruptly and we must respect their position of authority. For the good of society and the nation we need them and must not think we are better off without them. In the fifth commandment God requires that we honour and obey them, along the same lines as we do our parents.
God also put office bearers in the church. We don’t have deacons, elders and ministers because it seems a good idea to have them. If that was the only reason then in times of change and with new ideas we could just as easily get rid of them. The church has deacons, elders and pastors because God put them there. In His wisdom God says the church functions best when Christ is represented in His church through these office bearers. Therefore we must honour the men holding these offices, not for their sake but for God’s sake, for what He wants to do for the church through them.
2. The biblical model over against the view of today’s society
We need to recognise that the Bible’s view of the relationship between parents and children is very different from that of today’s society. And the Bible’s definition of what is a family, is very different from how modern society regards a family.
These differences can cause confusion in the mind of a child and young teenagers. The child is taught by today’s society that spanking is child abuse. Children and teenagers are made aware that there are legal avenues to take parents to court. But the same child may read or hear from the Bible that a parent who loves his child is not to spare the rod (Prov 13:24).
The child may not know that the Bible’s speaking of a rod can be both figurative and literal. The child knows, though, that the rod is a stick. And does God really want a parent to use a stick on a child as a form of discipline? The child is confused and may conclude that today’s society is more kind to children than the Bible and God. In fact, any form of discipline that parents take to their children may even seem unreasonable when that child hears other voices saying that children have rights and parents should respect these rights.
Parents, therefore, and especially Christian parents who follow the Bible’s teaching on family and children, have to be more diligent than ever in helping their children understand that discipline is a good and necessary thing. As is the discipline that God gives all of us. The Bible says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb 12:11).
Our aim as parents, therefore, is to bring up our children in such a way so that when they are adults themselves, they can look back and respect us for the discipline we gave them, even it if included occasional forms of physical punishment.
Another possible area of confusion in the child’s mind is the role of the father. The fifth commandment says we are to honour both father and mother. God has given fathers an important role that includes responsibility and accountability. The father is to be a prophet, priest and king in the home, and he must learn from the Lord Jesus as to what all that involves. Children must learn to look up to their fathers and it’s important that they see a good model.
But many a television show portrays the father as a bit of a comedy figure who bumbles along like an idiot. His children and wife are shown as being far superior in judgment and handling crisis situations. They frequently have to rescue the father from his own mistakes, or make excuses for him. Just like in the Simpsons.
Now when in a real-life situation the father acts with firmness and authority, the child becomes confused. The real father is not like the TV fathers and the child may look to the mother for protection. But in order to give the child a proper view of parents, and in order also to obey God, the mother in such situations will need to support her husband’s discipline. Of course, the father must make sure that his discipline of the child is based on the biblical model and therefore reasonable. He must not, as the Bible says, exasperate his children (Eph 6:4).
In coming to grips with differences in the approach to children by today’s society and the Bible, we need to remember that the Bible cannot err but man can and does. What God says in His Word about parents and children does not receive much attention from so-called experts on children and family, whose psychology and philosophy are secular and humanistic.
However, remember that the wisdom of the Bible has stood the test of time. Western society has witnessed the falling apart of families because many adults have lost the plot as to the meaning of marriage and relationships. The children have become the victims. In order to protect its children, society has come up with some good rules but also some unhelpful ones. God, however, has given us an infallible standard and guide. Those who follow God’s Word are blessed.
3. Abuse of power and accountability to God
When God delegates some of His authority to others, like parents, teachers, office bearers, police and the government, then He also gives the means required to do the task.
Parents, therefore, are obliged to make rules for their children and are given power to enforce them. The Lord says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col 3:20; cf Eph 6:1). When children obey their parents, then there’s peace and happiness in the home. When children disobey parents, then this peace and happiness is threatened. The parents must have the power to make the children obey by resorting to a system of punishment if they disobey. This can mean the withholding of certain privileges or a form of punishment that brings pain. It’s the whole idea of discipline.
If the parents refuse to use this power then the children become spoiled and self-centred. Every child has a sinful nature and when the wrong the child does is not met with discipline at home, then there will be problems later when the child has to live with other authorities. Lack of discipline in the home does not only spoil the child but it also brings hurt to the parents because the child gets away with disobedience. The result is tension and clashes in the home.
The power that God has given to parents can also be misused. It’s when parents turn into tyrants. Misuse of power leads to the abuse of children, and when it becomes widespread, then governments step in and make rules to prevent this abuse. But governments do not always work with biblical principles and their humanistic efforts to prevent abuse can result in parents being stripped of all disciplinary powers over their own children – which in turn can be as harmful to children as their being abused through misuse of power.
All this makes for confusion, and in order to keep a clear head we need reminding of how God goes about His relationship with us. If we know how God deals with us, then we can model our authority and power over our children after His example. Christians should have no difficulty in accepting God’s authority over them, for He is the Creator and we are His creatures. In God’s relationship with us we are made aware that He loves us. For God provides food, clothing, shelter, and everything we need for life. It’s similar to what parents do for their children.
In His loving care for us God knows what is good and not good for us. So He has given us His commandments which are aimed at our well-being. When we disobey Him, then He does not immediately break His relationship with us but He disciplines us in His love, because He knows it is good for us to be back in a right relationship with Him. But when we continually disobey Him, then His punishments become stronger and eventually it could lead to a complete breakdown in the relationship. It takes a long time before it gets that far because God is patient and forbearing. For the sake of Christ He is willing to forgive us when we turn back to Him again and trust and believe in Him once more. But continual disobedience, like Israel of old, can eventually result in God cutting us off altogether. For although God is love, He is also holy.
Because man is sinful, authority structures everywhere can be abused. When Jesus was judged by Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor, Pilate, said to Him, “Don’t you realise I have power either to free you or to crucify you”? To which Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above” (Jn 19:10,11).
Pilate was right in saying that he had power over Jesus. But Jesus was even more right when He told Pilate that the power he had was delegated to him by God. Pilate was therefore accountable to God in whatever judgment he would make. Pilate was a weak judge because he decided that it was politically expedient to favour the Jews who were pressing the charges against Jesus. Pilate proved to be a corrupt judge.
Corruption is a big problem in society and it is especially bad for society and the nation when those to whom God has given authority and power are corrupt. What should people do? Well, we know what many people do who do not live by God’s rules. They curse those in authority over them and frequently do everything they can in order to undermine their power. This kind of reaction is wrong, but the Bible warns rulers of all kinds that abuse of powers invites sinful disobedience, and even sabotage and rebellion.
What should Christians do? The first thing we must do is to pray for those in authority over us. Paul instructed Timothy, a young minister of the gospel, “I urge then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good and pleases God our Saviour, who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.” (1 Tim 2:1-4)
Notice that God does not tell us to pray for things that may please or profit us. We are to pray that God may guide those in authority and that they are aware of their accountability before God, so that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. If the powers that be can bring about those conditions, then it’s good and it pleases God because those conditions are the best for the spread of the gospel and having people come to know Christ and be saved.
Corrupt rulers sow all kinds of discontent in society and it results in a harvest of evil and scepticism wherein it becomes much more difficult for the church to be a light to the nation. We have seen many times over that corrupt governments usually introduce measures to prevent the church from spreading the gospel. It’s because Christ’s gospel of peace and righteousness exposes the corruption of the government.
It’s not easy to live with tyrants of that kind, but God said to slaves in times when slavery was still widespread that they should submit “to their masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God” (1 Pet 2:18,19). Slaves were not free to change their situation, but in their unjust treatment they were driven closer to God. Their suffering brought them nearer to God.
We who are free should submit to the authorities up to the point where it clearly goes against God’s commandments. Then we should obey God rather than man. But we may also strive with peaceful means to remind governments of their accountability before God and which things need improving for the well-being of the people.
We thank God for our fellow Christians who do this through their church committees that concern themselves with social responsibilities and public justice. We also thank those Christians in political parties who seek to influence government and society with God’s commandments. Some of the large denominations have Christians in them who are driven by their knowledge of the Word of God to put pressure on the authorities to seek a biblical solution for the problems of our society. We can be thankful for that as well.
In closing, let’s hear again the wise and helpful summing up of the Catechism:
“What is God’s will for you in the fifth commandment? That I honour, love, and be loyal to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; that I obey and submit to them, as is proper, when they correct and punish me; and also that I be patient with their failings – for through them God chooses to rule us.”
Amen.