Word of Salvation – Vol. 20 No.51 – September 1974
The Parents’ Responsibility To Bring Up Children In The Lord
Sermon by Rev. N. Hart, B.A., B.D. on Ephesians 6:4 & 4:13
Scripture Reading: Deuteronomy 6:1-9; Ephesians 6:1-4 and 4:11-14
Psalter Hymnal: 172:1,3,8; 55:1,4,5 (Law); 298 (Creed);
412:1,3; 235:1,9; 490 (Benediction)
With the resumption of sessions in both houses of the National Parliament, the nation is again faced with the BILL OF HUMAN RIGHTS, introduced by Senator Lionel Murphy, Q.C., in the Senate last November. This Bill in particular parts is a direct contradiction of the WORD OF GOD. It is to one of these contradictions that I would direct your attention this morning as we consider the teaching of the WORD OF GOD on :
The Parents’ Responsibility to Bring up Children in the Lord.
1. THE POSITIVE PROGRAMME
Reading the two verses of our text together, as we have done, it becomes immediately clear that ‘bringing up children’ is a POSITIVE PROGRAMME. In brief it says:
“Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord… until we… attain to the measure of the stature of Christ.”
The bringing up of children has a goal, an objective. But it also has a method. And this method is one of positive control and positive instruction.
In the field of education and child-psychology this positive programme is seldom recognised. Today, there is a movement in the training of children which, for convenience, might be called ‘the school of unrestrained self-expression.’ It holds that the child should be allowed to come to personal development by giving unrestrained expression to his innate desires and capacities. The task of the educator, of the parent, is to remove the obstacles – obstacles in the personality as well as in his social and physical environment.
This idea is not new. It is reported that towards the end of the 18th Century, Samuel Coleridge, the great English poet, met with one of the leaders of the French Revolution. This revolutionary had told Coleridge that he considered it to be immoral to bend the mind of a child into a certain direction before it could come to full individual maturity. To persuade a mature person by better reason was one thing: to indoctrinate a child is quite another.
In response to this Coleridge is said to have led the revolutionary into his garden, with the words, “Come, view my fine botanical garden.” The visitor, who – unlike Coleridge was a keen botanist – exclaimed: “What a mess!” To which Coleridge responded: “A mess, sir? But it has not yet come to maturity.”
The story illustrates one basic point of life: left to themselves ALL THINGS TEND TOWARDS CHAOS. The apostle Paul expresses this truth in Romans 8:20. “The creation was subjected to futility… frustration, disappointment.” This chaos and inner contradiction of life is the result of man’s sin, because of which God declared the earth cursed for man’s sake.
But this futility… frustration… vanity… inner contradiction… does not belong exclusively to gardens. It belongs especially to the heart of man. Also for children
“There is a way which seems right to them,
but its end is the way to death” (Prov.16:25).
This truth is acknowledged by parents as they bring their children to be baptised when they agree that “our children are born with sinful hearts” (Question 2, Form for Provisional Use).
There is but one way out of this condition of chaos. It is the POSITIVE PROGRAMME of “the discipline and instruction of the Lord”.
Note that there are two aspects to this – discipline and instruction. Some things need be said of both of these aspects.
Firstly, discipline. This word is used in the Scripture both in the sense of CORRECT or GUIDE, as well as that of WHIP or SCOURGE. Pilate uses it in this Second sense when he says: “I have found in him no crime deserving death, I will discipline him and release him” (Luke 23:22; cf.v.16). Clearly, then, discipline may at times imply physical punishment, so that, by means of physical pain, practices and attitudes which are not in keeping with the will of God, are declared to be wrong. But such application of physical punishment should only be applied in the extreme case, where there is no sorrow for a sin experienced when that sin is discovered. The idea of ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ (cf.Prov.13:24) is not an encouragement to child beating. It is an encouragement “to love a child enough to be diligent in discipline.”
At this point, we do not need to go to the sensationalism of newspaper reports to bring to mind the cruelty of parents who are brought before the courts for ‘common assault’ against their children. How many parents there are who beat, kick, and slap their children simply because they are frustrated or annoyed! Such is no discipline. It is simple brutality. By such terrorizing the only thing that happens is that the relationship between children and parents is put under strain, yes, may even be utterly destroyed.
Exercising discipline, especially in terms of physical punishment, is a hazardous responsibility. It is always in danger of becoming assault. Well ought parents to remember: DISCIPLINE WITHOUT INSTRUCTION IS DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL.
Punishment ought, therefore, never to be a way of retaliation for inconveniences suffered by those who are in authority. Is it a wonder that many children, when they reach adulthood seek to break free from parental control, yes, from every restraint in society? Theirs has been a life of ducking and weaving to escape the chaotic and arbitrary violence of parents and authorities who knew nothing about discipline WITH instruction.
I suppose that there is only one type of garden worse than the one belonging to Coleridge. That is the one in which vandals have wrought havoc in a process of undisciplined violence.
It is at this point that the BILL OF HUMAN RIGHTS becomes relevant. In it we find the following statements:
“Everyone shall have the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion. No-one shall be subject to coercion (force) which would impair his freedom to have or to adopt a religion or belief of his choice.”
By themselves these statements are true and valuable enough. But there is one important factor which must not be overlooked. What is the position of children?
In the COVENANT ON CIVIL AND POLITICAL RIGHTS, recognised by the United Nations, a document from which this Bill has been drawn almost word for word there is an important addition. It reads as follows:-
“The State undertakes to have respect for the liberty of parents to ensure the religious and moral education of their children in conformity WITH THEIR OWN CONVICTIONS.”
Do you realise what it means to forget about such a statement, such a recognition of ‘parental freedom?’ It means that a situation like that in Communist countries is prepared. Who does not know about the millions of people undergoing imprisonment in work-camps because they taught their children ACCORDING TO THEIR RELIGIOUS AND MORAL CONVICTIONS. Unless this right of parents is clearly confirmed and fully spelled out, the foundation of the Christian family indeed every family is undermined. Should this happen, our Australian society is faced with a deplorable despotism of the State, which already at present claims too great a part in the NON-moral and NON-religious methods of education. State-education without ‘religious and moral convictions’ will – at best – make us a nation of soul-less people.
The Christian alternative to this is ‘discipline WITH instruction.’ Therefore, the Christian alternative has a positive goal… The Christ-like goal.
2. THE CHRIST-LIKE GOAL
In speaking about the positive programme, I intentionally did not say much about the content of the instruction to be given. I wanted to deal with it under this heading the ‘CHRIST-LIKE GOAL’ of the positive programme.
Even in the Church there is the permanent danger that ‘instruction’ becomes nothing more than the teaching of a moralistic code of ethics. We hear of statements like ‘Christians don’t buy raffle tickets’; or, ‘we don’t play sport on Sundays as Christians’. The outcome of this is that there are people who live normal decent lives who think that because of THAT they are Christians. The humanistic moralistic education of our Western Culture is the result of a Christ-less moral and religious education.
In our text it is expressed quite differently. We are to bring up our children in the INSTRUCTION OF THE LORD. And such ‘instruction of the Lord’ has at its final goal as Ephesians 4 states ‘the likeness of Christ.’ That which is said to the whole church is equally relevant to the children of the congregation. Jesus gave all sorts of teachers to the Church so that we might “attain to the unity of the faith the knowledge of the Son of God – mature manhood – the measure of the stature of Christ.” That means that the Bible sees maturity in terms of ‘unity of faith’, ‘knowledge of Jesus,’ and ‘becoming like Jesus.’
The Bible will not have a bar of moralistic teaching of ‘taste not, touch not.’ It knows only one form of education. That is TRANSFORMATION. Any form of education, even Christian education, which stops short at leading to conversion, to faith, to rebirth, stops short where it would become powerful.
True enough, we cannot give our children the ‘new birth’; we cannot give them ‘faith’. But the Bible says: “Faith comes from hearing Christ being preached” (Rom.10:17). And the apostle Peter declares: “You have been born anew through the living and abiding word of God… the gospel which was preached to you” (1Pet.1:23,25).
Living a life which is well-pleasing and acceptable to the Lord requires more than information about what God wants us to do. I suppose that the Israelites brought up according to Deuteronomy 6:7-9 were not ignorant of the Law of God. They were permanently surrounded by the Law of God. But after their exile because of utter failure in sin, God has a new solution. Through Ezekiel God says:
“A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will take out of your flesh the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and I will cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances.” (Ezek.36:26,27).
When this has happened there is TRUE maturity. THEN we have the situation about which Jeremiah prophesies;
“And no longer shall each man teach his neighbour and each his brother saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest….!” (31:34a).
You will appreciate that this is no simple task. Not just anyone can do it. Not every parent is able to bring up his child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.’ It is restricted to those who KNOW the Lord. The apostle Paul may not have been a parent, but with what parental concern and authority he writes to the Corinthians: (2 Cor.5:20)…
“We beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God”
And on an earlier occasion he wrote to them: (1Cor.4:16 & 11:1)
“I became your father in Christ Jesus through the Gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me as I am of Christ.”
It was only because Paul had received the discipline and instruction of the Lord that he was able to teach others also (2Tim.2:2). Yes, more than this: it was because this positive programme had had its effect, he was able to lead others. Paul could say of himself – and that by the grace of God:
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”
Yes, THEN, truly do we find ‘discipline and instruction IN THE LORD’ when it is no longer the PARENTS living, but CHRIST living in the parents.
3. THE DIVINE IMPERATIVE
There is still one point a very important one to which I must yet briefly refer. It seeks to answer the question: ‘Why?’. ‘Why should I bring up my children in this way, with that goal in view?’ Because God says so! The COVENANT OF CIVIL AND POLITICAL RIGHTS goes no further than –
“……having respect for the LIBERTY of parents …..!”
The WORD OF GOD refers to it as a DUTY… because children belong to God.
In Ezekiel 16:20,21, we read about those who did not recognise this. It reads as follows:
“You took your sons and your daughters, whom you had BORNE TO ME, and these you sacrificed TO…. (idols) to be devoured…. You slaughtered MY CHILDREN and delivered them up as an offering by fire TO THEM.”
Fortunately, such hideous and horrific crimes are no longer part of our culture. But there are still those who by means of pornographic and revolutionary films and literature would send our young generation to the devil. Let there be no uncertainty about this. Groups of criminals as well as individuals are looking to our nation as an untapped source of wealth. All the outdated PORN of Europe and the USA will find a market, here. And with it will come a flood of iniquity and debauchery, with an increase of crime in its wake. To date, some of this has still been averted by the so-called ‘out-dated’ censorship laws. But what is to happen when these are ‘liberalized?’ And they are being ‘liberalized’…..!
There is an assault upon our children as great as the idolatry of Israel of old. Are we allowing this to take place? How urgent are we in our censorship of the reading material and T.V. entertainment of our children? Or are we indifferent to the well-being of the children ‘we have borne to God.’ Eli, in the days of Samuel, was such an indifferent parent. God said concerning him:
“I have told Eli that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity known to him: his sons made themselves vile and he did not admonish them” (1Sam.3:13).
And they were no teenagers.
Beloved, we have a RESPONSIBILITY to bring up our children in the Discipline and Instruction of the Lord, because – because they belong to God.
Amen.