Word of Salvation – Vol. 29 No. 06 – February 1984

 

Abraham’s Concern For Isaac’s Marriage – A Matter Of Faith

 

Sermon by Rev. J. J. Van Wageningen v.d.m. on Genesis 24:1-9

Scripture Reading: Hebrews 11:8-16

Suggested Hymns: 235:2,3; 200:7 or 205:4,5; 462

 

The whole of life is religion.  This is clear Scriptural teaching.  “In all your ways acknowledge the Lord” (Prov.3:6), – also in the ways of everyday practical life.  E.g. the ways in which you earn your living; the ways in which you spend your money; the ways in which you become engaged and married, etc.  “In all your ways acknowledge the Lord.”

He makes Himself known to us.  He speaks to us.  He gives us His divine Word, “a lamp for our foot, a light on our path”.  He wants us to live by faith.  This means, that we listen to His Word; that we trust His promises and obey His commandments, in all circumstances, and with regard to our whole life.

Our text deals with an interesting subject, viz. marriage.  This is always interesting and important; it was so in the days of the patriarchs, almost 4,000 years ago; and it is still so in our time.  Your marriage as member of the church; the marriage of our children: it is not an indifferent affair, something of minor importance as far as the service of God is concerned.  On the contrary, also in these ways we must acknowledge the Lord.

Our text speaks about Abraham’s concern for Isaac’s marriage as a matter of faith.
In this concern we see 3 things:
            1.  the obedience of faith;
            2.  the wisdom of faith;
            3.  the confidence of faith.

1.  Father Abraham sent his servant, the oldest of his house, to find a wife for his son Isaac.  This was a different way of doing things.  In our opinion it was a little queer.  Imagine that your dad comes home with a girlfriend for you.  Indeed customs were (and are) different in the East, and I do not expect you to exchange ours for those of the East.  As young people you want to look and to act for yourself.  And that is O.K.  But do not fall into the other extreme that you completely ignore your father and mother with regard to these things.  To honour your parents also means that you talk things over.  The opinion and advice, the agreement and approval of Christian parents are still valuable elements in the development and building-up of the life of their children.

The issue of our text however is not a certain Eastern custom.  The fact that Abraham made these provisions for the marriage of his 40-year-old son was the accepted thing in those days, nothing special.

The particular, very uncommon things were the special conditions he made.

There were 2 conditions:

            1.  Isaac was not allowed to marry one of the daughters of the Canaanites; and
            2.  Isaac was not to return to Ur of the Chaldeans, the land of Abraham’s birth.

Abraham made his servant swear by the Lord to stick to these 2 conditions.

There were, of course, quite a few beautiful and rich girls among the Canaanites.  It would have been no trouble at all to find an excellent wife for Isaac in the neighbourhood.  Abraham was a rich sheik, held in high esteem by the Canaanites, and Isaac was a very suitable son-in-law.

Abraham however flatly rejected this idea: “Don’t get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I am living.  And don’t take my son back to the land from which I came, not even if the bride-to-be is not willing to come to Canaan.

Why was father Abraham so stubborn in sticking to these two conditions?  The answer is: Because his care for Isaac’s marriage was a matter of faith.  Also in this respect he wanted to be obedient to God, the God of the Covenant, who had called him to leave his country and dwell in the land of promise as a stranger.  The LORD had established His Covenant with Abraham and had given glorious promises for his descendants:

“I am your God and the God of your children and I will give to you and to your descendants after you the land where you are now an alien, all the land of Canaan.  And in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed.”

Abraham was deeply convinced that God had called him and his descendants to stay apart, strangers in a foreign country, to live in a special covenant-relationship with God.  He realized that God would fulfil the promises of His sovereign, free grace in and through him and his descendants.  In New Testament light we see it much more clearly; the Christ had to come forth from Abraham’s offspring, a blessing for all the nations.  This new, holy principle had to be kept pure.

Abraham was old, 140 years, but his faith had not weakened.  On the contrary, it was strong and vigorous.  The Covenant, God’s gracious promise, was THE most important thing of his life, for himself and for his children.  He listened to the voice of the LORD and followed His calling with the obedience of faith.

This is exactly the same 4,000 years ago and now: the obedience of faith.  God wants us to be obedient to Him, also in marriage-affairs.  As parents we must be convinced in our deepest heart and soul: the real thing in our life, in our marriage, in our family, is the service of the LORD, His Covenant, the Covenant of Grace, the gracious relationship with God in Christ through the Spirit.  We may belong to this Covenant, together with our children.  God assures us of this through the sign and seal of Baptism.  And He calls us and our children to serve Him with a new obedience.  We must show this to our children in our own life: what it means to belong to Christ, to follow Him.

As young people you must see it, you must know it: only if you live with the LORD, and you obey Him, there is true happiness and joy.  It must be clear, also in the choice of your marriage-partner that you want to obey the LORD.

Is the fear of the LORD in the centre of your heart?  Is the fear of the LORD the basis of our family-life?  Do we show it; do we live it, a life of humble gratitude; a life of joyful obedience; a life of dedication to the LORD and His service?

In the life of young people there is so often an irresponsible superficiality in the choice of a marriage-partner; you feel attracted to each other, you fall in love, and that settles the matter, and then, yes, there is also still something like faith and the church.

And even if there is more of a sense of responsibility, an understanding that we have to submit ourselves to the LORD and His will, there is so often the contrast between what we would like to do and what the LORD demands.

How many resist God’s commandment?  They do not want to listen to what parents and office-bearers say.  False arguments are used to defend the wrong attitude.  Marriage with an unbeliever is argued to be right, e.g. because the “love” for each other is from God.  A strange argument!  “Love” can be sinful, and you are responsible for it.

Another defensive argument is that God will use the believing partner to convert the unbeliever.  There are several glowing examples, they say.  It is true, God can do so in His grace; He can use something that is evil for good.  But that is in spite of our disobedience.  Marriage is not a means of evangelism.  This is a dangerous speculation.  It is disobedience in a pious disguise.

Another well-known argument is: We leave each other free; the believing partner may fulfil his or her “religious duties”; the unbelieving spouse will not interfere with that.  But that means that there is no unity in the deepest and most important issues of life.  It also means an underestimation of the influence of unbelief.  It is nothing else but disobedience to God.

Who will be able to estimate the great spiritual damage to so many lives, to family and church, caused by this disobedience?

Do we understand our calling as believers in Christ?  Do we really desire to fulfil our calling?  It is not always easy.  It is a struggle of the flesh against the Spirit, and of the Spirit against the flesh.

Ask the Lord for the strength and the guidance of His Spirit, that you may live a new life, a life in the obedience of faith.

This must dominate our whole life, also the springtime of our life, when we are still young, when we make decisions and take steps which have consequences not only for ourselves, but also for those who come after us.

2.  Abraham’s wisdom of faith.

The Canaanites may have thought: “What radical nonsense to go to Ur of the Chaldeans to get a wife, whereas there are so many suitable girls here.  Abraham spoils Isaac’s opportunities.  If he gets a wife from the Canaanites, he will be accepted as one of us.  A golden opportunity to obtain a firm footing here in Canaan…!”

However, it was no foolishness, nor pride, nor stubbornness on the side of Abraham.  It was the wisdom of faith.  His pilot was God’s Word.  The promises of God go far beyond all that the world has to offer.  We are so inclined to look first at the outside, at the material and temporal aspects: a pretty face, a handsome appearance, a good job, possibilities of promotion, etc..!

And when spiritually matters are not so promising, we accept that and hope for the best.

Do we realize that the things of God, His promises and His calling are of infinitely higher importance than all other things?

It is wisdom to look first of all for sincere faith, true godliness, a life with God.  Abraham sent his servant to his relatives in Ur of the Chaldeans.  There was still a certain knowledge and service of the one true God in that region in those days.  The Canaanites had their faith, but it was idolatry, heathenism.

Sometimes when you talk about these things, it appears that in many cases it is too readily accepted that somebody is a believer, simply because he or she is wanted as husband or wife.  And if you express doubts, then, with a certain indignation, you are, told that he or she really believes.  But when you have a quiet talk with the boy or girl, the man or woman concerned, it appears that this faith is no more than a rather vague belief that there must be something or somebody behind all things.  It is foolishness when you accept this as true Christian faith.  Christian faith means that there is personal fellowship with the Lord Jesus; that you know Him as the Saviour of sinners.

Abraham did not compromise.  When his servant said: “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land?” Abraham did not give in.

Do we possess this wisdom from above?  Parents, do you bring up your children in the fear of the Lord also with respect to a future marriage?  Do you talk with them about the wisdom of faith?

“The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him and He makes known to them His Covenant.”

Let us pray that this may be a reality in the life of parents and children.  Talk with your children about the relationship between boys and girls, and make it clear to them from the very beginning that the whole of life is religion.  Don’t accept a “wait and see” attitude, but talk with your children, pray with your children, that they may understand God’s will, also when it concerns the question whom they will marry.

And the will of God is clear: when you marry, you must marry “in the Lord” (1Cor.7:39).  This means: in fellowship with the Lord; in obedience to the Lord; in dependence on the Lord; in dedication to the Lord.  It is a matter of course that this “marrying in the Lord” is possible only if both, husband and wife, know this fellowship with the Lord; belong to Him; find their unity in Him.

Do not stick to your own wisdom.  Precisely in connection with the choice of a marriage-partner it happens more than once that Dad’s wisdom, the wisdom of faith is rejected.  How many have regretted their foolishness when it was too late?  How many have become estranged from the Lord and His service in this way and are lost forever.

3.  Abraham’s confidence.

Abraham asked his servant to swear by the LORD.  Most probably this servant was Eliezer, about whom we read in chapter 15, although his name is not mentioned here in our text.  Anyhow, he was the chief steward, the oldest servant who was in charge of all that Abraham had.

The man did not swear immediately; thinking about his delicate task he foresaw difficulties.  Abraham however was full of confidence.  This was not a superficial optimism, but the confidence of faith.  This is clear from his answer to the servant: “The LORD will send His angel before you, so that you can get a wife for my son from there.”

It is true, Abraham mentioned also the possibility that the woman would not be willing to come to Canaan; but this was not a matter of lack of confidence; it was only a reassurance for the servant.  In that case he would be free from the oath.  Abraham however trusted in the LORD who had given him the promise: “I will give to you and to your descendants after you the whole land of Canaan, where you are now an alien; and I will be their God.”

He is the LORD, the faithful God of the Covenant, He will fulfil His promises.  Therefore Abraham was convinced that the LORD would send His angel before his servant.

Have we got this confidence of faith?  Do we trust in the LORD?

There is sometimes anxiety… distrust in our heart.  Things do not go as we would like them to go.  We wait for a marriage-partner, we look for a marriage-partner, and it happens that through little faith or unbelief we get on a wrong road.

We are called to go the way which God shows us in His Word, to pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to trust in God’s promises.

It may be that you do this… and that still there are disappointments and troubles.

That is possible.  Trust in the LORD is not a guarantee that all our desires are granted.  Children of God-fearing parents may go a wrong, a sinful way, in spite of their prayers.  A young man, a young woman may have to break off a relationship.  Maybe they do not marry at all.  It is difficult.  But the LORD calls us to trust in Him.  He will send His angel before us.  He, the God of the Covenant, our Father in Christ, leads our life with fatherly love and wisdom.  He knows what is best.

Sometimes it is very hard; our heart is rebellious and we ask: Why?  It is a struggle, but the only right way is, to trust and obey.

The way may be dark and difficult, but the LORD does not leave us alone.  He goes with us, and He does not put to shame those who trust in Him.

Amen.