Word of Salvation – Vol. 30 No. 10 – March 1985

 

Love Is Kind

 

Sermon by Rev. P. Richard Flinn, v.d.m. on 1Corinthians 13:4b

Scripture readings: Titus 2:11-3:15 II; 1Cor.13

Suggested Hymns: 111; 329; 129; 450; 386

 

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

There is an expression in the English language: “killed by kindness.”  It refers to a person being so overwhelmed by kindness that he is smothered, enshrouded in a suffocating cocoon.  He is loved to death.  When you find such a phenomenon, what is happening?  You will find that people are being kind more out of their own need than for the welfare of the other.  Sometimes people love and extend kindness because they need to; this is their dominant motive.  They need to see themselves useful; they, for their own self appreciation and sense of self-worth, must be kind to other people.

Yet there is a real irony here, wherever you find this happening it never builds up, it is oppressive, it destroys.  Killed by kindness; the mark of selfishness.

Still, all kindness cannot be this way, for we read in 1Cor.13:4 that “Love is kind.” Since love is to abound amongst us and since love is kind, there must be a form of kindness that is truly god-like, up-building, righteous.  What does the Scripture mean when it says: “love is kind?” Let us have a word study.

In the Greek the most fundamental meaning is that which is useful, which is fit and appropriate for the need.  You could speak of a “kind book” for example.  You would mean a book ideally suited and adapted for the occasion.  Maybe you are worn out and you want to relax.  You pick up a Louis D’Lamour western.  Whereupon you are soon transported into another world.  The cares and concerns of your present responsibilities are left far behind.  It was just what you needed for recreation.  This would be called a “kind” book, one well suited to the need of the particular moment.

The word is used this way in the Scriptures at least once.  In Luke 5:39, where Jesus is talking about the difference between old and new wine.  “No-one drinking the old wine wishes for the new, for he says: ‘the old is kind enough’.”  What does he mean, but that wine is supposed to do certain things, to give pleasure, to cleanse the pallet, to stimulate the appetite, to make you relax, and to give a pleasant bouquet.  An old wine, a matured wine does all those things better than a new wine and so it is more “kind”; it does more perfectly the job that it is supposed to do.

Now you can appreciate the meaning of the word “kind” in the expression “love is kind”.  It means love activates a person to be useful, to meet whatever needs he encounters amongst his fellow men, to the best of his ability.  This is what the Bible means by “kindness”.  We see that it is quite opposite to that self-centred, self-gratifying emotion that kills another person.  What are its characteristics?

1.  Kindness is centred upon other people.  The needs of others condition and govern our action toward them.  If one is thirsty, kindness moves us to give him a drink.  If one is tired, kindness moves us to ensure he can rest.  If one needs to be left alone, kindness gives privacy and time to collect oneself.  If one is lonely, it provides company.

2.  Kindness leads one to be useful to others.  In that sense it is pre-eminently practical.  Kindness is not sitting back and conjuring up a good feeling about everybody, so that deep down you will feel warm inside.  Kindness motivates one to be useful to others, to be practical in meeting the needs of others.  “Let us not be loving with word and tongue but in deed and truth” (1John 3:18).  Here the parable of the Good Samaritan is so helpful.  The Samaritan was kind to the poor man beaten up by robbers in that he was useful, he met his needs.  He made sure he was taken care of medically.  He paid for his board.  He met the need appropriately, practically.

Incidentally, this is why government welfare programmes are often anything but kind, for the help they offer is often inappropriate.  Instead of helping a person get up on his feet again, government programmes make the recipients more and more dependent, reducing people effectively to a permanent slave class.  This is the kind- ness that kills.

3.  Kindness inspires a willingness to help others.  If you see your brother has a need and you have the wherewithal to meet that need yet you do not, then, says James, where is the love in that?  There is no desire to be useful to others, to help them where they need to be helped.  Wherever you find genuine kindness, you will find a free, willing spirit.

4.  Kindness will take many forms, because its expression is governed by the particular need of the person before us.  At times it will provide money, at times it will withhold money.  At times it will be empathetic and sympathetic, at others it will be stern and utter a sharp reproof or rebuke.  “He who loves his child is diligent to discipline him”.  Why?  Because we all need discipline and training in the things of God.  That is our genuine need, and kindness will administer correction and rebuke.  At times kindness will provide warning when a soul is straying into the paths of sin.  At times it will weep with those who weep.  It will rejoice with those who rejoice.

5.  Kindness is always conditioned, governed and directed by God’s law.  It is God’s law which truly defines man’s needs.  Remember that love is a fulfilling of the law.  It is God’s law which tells us what our true needs are and so in kindness, we provide genuine appropriate help.  God’s love then is not in opposition to God’s law, but it depends upon God’s law.  God’s law runs like the other side of a railway track alongside kindness to tell us what the real needs of men are, directing us to do what will be truly useful for them.

So if we are to love we must be kind.

We have defined kindness.  Now let us consider how important and necessary it is that we become people marked by kindness.

1.  Consider the Kindness of God toward all men.

The Bible teaches that God has been and is kind to all men.  “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance” (Rom.2:4).  Here Paul speaks of the kindnesses that God daily bestows on all men.  Language fails to record them, but consider the extent of God’s goodness covering every part of the human life.  Our physical bodies, so well adapted to our needs.  Our homes and families; what depth of creaturely richness is contained in the home: the joy of love, of falling in love, of being in love.  The delight of strength; of the opportunity to work; to create; to be productive; to do something meaningful.  The pleasures of life: wine and good food, human companionship, music, art, literature.  All these have come from God’s hand.  They are kindnesses to enrich our life, to equip us better to meet the need that our very being cries out for, to be in God’s image.

Consider other pleasures in life; the beauty of flowers and trees.  It has pleased the Lord to give us a creation full of beauty, flowers with every shade of colour, richness of hue.  Shrubs and trees of every shape and leaf texture.  How much richer and more pleasant these make our human existence.  Consider the scents in nature.  You walk along a country path and you are suddenly struck with the most exquisite scent; it may be of the clematis or wild jasmine.  How pleasurable and delightful.  Does it not make life much more pleasant?  Does it not speak of the kindness of God?  I am sure that every husband and wife here would have had occasion to wonder at God’s kindness in granting the gift of human sexuality.  Our heavenly Father, knowing our frame, knowing our frailty has yet filled our life with delight and pleasure.

We could speak of the warmth of the sun, the beauty of the moon and the stars, the freshness of an evening breeze.  We could speak of the tang of the salt air on the seashore; we could mention the dawn chorus of the birds that sing to God’s glory in a way that man never could.  Variety… infinite variety!  How our God has looked down from heaven and sought to do good for us in kindness.

We could go on to speak of the kindnesses He has bestowed on us through the government of the human race.  Through institutions such as civil government we are protected from harm enabling us to live in considerable security.  Consider the school, the institution of education where we can train our minds and fulfil so much more of our potential.  Consider science, how it enriches and helps us in our daily existence.  Consider medicine given by God to aid and assist in our many infirmities.

On and on we could go, yet what does this teach us except that God is a God of kindness, kindness that has been bestowed and poured out on all men?  Millions of kindnesses that should lead every one of us to thank God daily, and live lives of undying gratitude toward Him.

But if God is this way toward all men does it not demand of us that we, according to our opportunity and station in life, do whatever we can for the good of all men everywhere?  We are in His image, we have been adopted into His family, we are His ambassadors, God calling men to be reconciled through us.  If we do not open our heart to others in love, attempting to be useful and helpful to our neighbours, we deny God’s kindness to all.  Or would you be wiser than God?  Would you have a love that is “higher” and “purer” than God’s?

Sometimes we meet the notion that to do kindness to evil and wicked people, to those outside the household of faith is wrong because it encourages them in evil.  I have a certain sympathy for this notion insofar as it tries to discourage men in sin.  Such opinion wants to do good only to Christians.  “Become a Christian my friend and then I will concern myself with your needs.”

It is true that people may use our kindness to express greater rebellion against God.  But if God continues to shower kindness upon them how can we refuse to be kind to them?

Does this view not result in a grotesque perversion?  There is a fine line between this and the notion that we should only be kind when we can see can see some result for our kindness, some reciprocation, some response.  But Jesus said, when you give a banquet, don’t invite the rich, your friends who can reciprocate and invite you back.  Go out and invite the poor and the lame and the blind.  Those who can never repay you.  They are the ones to whom you should show kindnesses.  Let God reward us in His time.

While it’s true that we should love those of the household of faith particularly, we are still required to do good to all men (Gal.6:10).  We shall reap the fruit in time.

God is kind to all.  So must we be.  We are His children and ambassadors.  Our love will drive us to be useful to men, helping them whenever we can.

2.  You are called to be kind for you have experienced God’s greatest kindness: salvation in Jesus Christ.

We expect all men to be kind to one another, for they themselves have all enjoyed kindness from the hand of God.  But Christians, of all people in the world, should be most kind for they have known the greatest kindness of all: God’s gift of salvation in Jesus Christ.  Salvation is described in the Bible as God’s great kindness.

When Paul is expounding the mercy of God in sending the Gospel to the Gentiles, to you and me, he writes (In Rom.11:22), “God has been kind to you”.  Of all of God’s gifts, salvation in Christ, the forgiveness of our sins, adoption as the sons and daughters of God, these are our greatest blessings.  Peter says that we are to desire the milk of the word that we may grow in respect to salvation assuming we have tasted the richness of the Lord; that is, we have tasted salvation (2Peter 2:1-3)

Is it not right, that we, who have tasted the highest kindness of God, ought to be kind to others?  Can you really lay claim to such kindness and yet deny kindness to others?  That is why Peter says: you who have tasted the kindness of the Lord should lay aside all that is unkind, all malice, all guile, all hypocrisy, envy and slander.  All these are the opposite of making yourself useful to others, meeting their needs instead or pulling them down.  Has God acted with malice, hypocrisy and guile toward us?  May such a thought never enter our heads.  Well then, we of all people must give ourselves in kindness to others.

I can almost hear somebody say in his heart, “If God has been kind, particularly to Christians then we should, too.  We need not concern ourselves so much with loving those outside the household of faith.”  To be sure we must be kind to our Christian brethren, but let me ask you: did you receive God’s greatest kindness – salvation while you were in the household of faith or outside of it?  You say, outside of course.  God saved me while I was a sinner.  “For God showed His great love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!  (Rom.5:8).  If God was kind to you while you walked in darkness, in greed, malice, slander, lying, and hypocrisy, then so must you be kind to people while they still walk in sin today.

But this means also, of course that the greatest kindness we can do for people is to introduce them to Christ through the sharing of the Gospel.  If we are kind, truly, then we will be speaking of God’s greatest kindness to man in his greatest need.

Of all people in the world, the Christian should be the most kind because he knows and enjoys the greatest kindness that God has given to man, salvation in Jesus Christ.  Let us seek God’s forgiveness for the hardness of our hearts toward men.

Rather, God reminds you today “to be ready for every good deed, to malign no-one, to be uncontentious, gentle, showing every consideration for all men.  For we were once foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts, and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.  But when the kindness of God our Saviour and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us “(Titus 3:1-4).

Now, then, Christian, love is kind.  How do you love?  God requires of you and me that our lives be lives of love, imbued with the fruit of His Spirit.  That means that we must be kind, making ourselves useful to mankind wherever we can, giving ourselves to all men as we have opportunity to meet their needs.  Paul says without this love, you and I are nothing.

Amen.