The Family is Love’s Fountain
A Sermon by Rev Sjirk Bajema
on Heidelberg Catechism, LD 39
Scripture Reading: Ephesians 6:1-9
Fellow saints…
There is a change here in the Ten Commandments. The fifth commandment has quite a different focus than the first four commandments. This is why the fifth commandment has often been known as the first command of the second table of the Law. And this is the structure our Lord Jesus demonstrated, when, in Matthew 22:37 he said that the greatest commandment in the Law was to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,” and in verse 39, “And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself’.”
Congregation, in this second table of the Law we see the duties we owe other humans. The love we have first of all for God must also flow to those right next to us. The vertical connection has to join people together horizontally.
The first four commandments pointed us to: firstly, worshipping God alone; secondly, worshipping God the right way; thirdly, showing God’s place in our lives; and fourthly, receiving God’s rest by keeping His day. Now, in the fifth commandment, the focus is on others: “Love your neighbour as yourself.”
And, where, of all possible human connections, does this second table, this focus on our fellow man, begin? Where else? “Honour your father and your mother.” God’s order has a purpose. That’s why the family is foundational. In a society where every other possible human relationship is promoted in contrast to the family, don’t we see how right the Lord is! On this fifth commandment all the following five commands depend. As, indeed, the survival of our society hangs on it. In fact, our civilisation may well be at its end because the western world has ignored it.
Congregation, the old English saying is very true: “charity begins at home.” And “charity” is the old English word for real love — Christian love. As the old King James Version of 1 Corinthians 13:13 said, “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest is charity.” If there is no proper instruction, discipline, and example in the family, then murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and coveting, are sure to happen! Friends, love for each other — charity — begins at home ! The closest neighbour you’ll ever have is the person you live with, or who you meet with the most. Not the one who lives next door. No, the one who you are with in your own family.
This is hard stuff! It’s a lot easier to get on with those far away than those right next to you. And perhaps some teenage minds are thinking, “You better believe it, Mr Preacher! If you had to live with my folks…!” Ah, but there’s the rub! You’re living with them — not me! I’ve got my parents — you’ve got yours! And we must all realise, with Answer 104, that GOD PUT PARENTS HERE IN HIS PLACE.
1 — God put parents here in His place
Now, the Catechism refers to more than our parents. So to say that GOD PUT PARENTS IN HIS PLACE really includes all authority. But we start at home since the family is the fountain. That’s where it begins. And teenagers, young adults, boys and girls, it’s how your family is now which makes all the difference for what your life will become in the future! Those words which seem so hard in the Catechism, words like “honour”, “love”, “be loyal”, “obey”, “submit”, “be patient”, they’re actually the best words!
Still hard? Let me illustrate this: A man travelled to the other side of the world. While there he visited his 87 year old grandmother. She was still healthy, enjoying life and her family. Her grandson was there also because of her wisdom. He who himself was a father knew the treasure of this parent who had been before him. She described to him what real love is like. She said, “Love without strength, without backbone, without force, has no validity.”
Friends, that means the love which doesn’t give direction isn’t going in any direction! In fact, that kind of love has no reason for existence! The family is the fountain which forms love. I’m sure we have all seen some beautiful fountains. Don’t they have amazing shapes and sizes to the sprays — and sometimes even different colours! It’s the fountain which forms the shape of the water which spouts out. And, in the same way, a good family gives love its strength, its backbone, and its force. That’s charity. That’s knowing… GOD PUT PARENTS HERE IN HIS PLACE.
The family is the fountain alright. That’s why parents have the authority. The same power which teachers and elders and policemen and all those in positions above us have. Could it be, congregation, that the revulsion we easily feel toward authority figures arises from the devil’s schemes against the family? If the devil is going to attack any of our human relations, wouldn’t he begin with the most foundational first of all? Surely this must be a major reason why the Lord spends so much time on parents and their children right throughout Scripture. The books of Moses have many clear words on this, as also does Proverbs in further applying the Law. It’s perfectly shown in the way Jesus obeyed His earthly parents. And then it’s reinforced again in the New Testament letters, such as we read in Ephesians Chapter 6. The message is clear. GOD PUT PARENTS HERE IN HIS PLACE.
Our attitude toward parents makes a lot of difference to the Lord’s blessings we experience now. The Israelites were told that their attitude to parents would make the difference to their physical blessing in the Promised Land. It’s this promise of the blessing which Paul points to in Ephesians 6:3, because it makes such a difference!
We only need to reflect on the terrible statistics of the breakdown in our society. From the divorce figures which now involve 4 in 10 marriages; the violent crime with young men murdered in petrol stations; the prostitution in streets near where we live; to those who burn down schools.
Everything that God’s Word says a family is meant to be is being undermined. A stable father and a mother is no longer seen as the bedrock for a child’s health, anyone can apply, and the weirder the better! Romans chapter 1:26-32 pictures today’s normality’ in all its graphic perversity!
Why do we say this in a Christian church? What reason does this serve amongst people who know and love God’s Word? We’re not affected by those tragic statistics, are we? Congregation, we must not be complacent! This evil is among us. The popular programs on television and many movies, especially those aimed at children, picture parents as real dummies. They put down those in authority.
The attitude out there is nowhere near this Christian love of the fifth commandment. It’s actually a hate. And a hate of the worst kind — the hate that so casually dismisses anyone over 25.
Parents, grandparents, do you talk about these things? Do you tell your children and grandchildren about the importance of the family, and about respect for authority? Or in your conversation, in your family jokes, is the policeman the one who will get you when you’ve done something wrong; the tax-man someone to despise at a certain time of the year; the government just a bunch of lying, conniving, and backhanding cons; and the elders, well, you wouldn’t want them coming round more than once a year! That visit’s bad enough!
How is the water flowing from your fountain? Not too stagnant? Surely not so polluted that we’re not punishing our children when they’re wrong? If they don’t taste what the real water is from the fountain, then how can they know what to give their own children to drink deeply from for their lives? And where then is the real joy that comes from truly knowing your place?
Congregation, how can a family that strays from God’s pattern be a blessing? In the words of Andrew Kuyvenhoven, “If a society has a crisis in authority and obedience, it experiences troubles in all other relationships between people. Because thousands of parents don’t love and discipline their children, hundreds of thousands of children live anti-social and rebellious lives.” Or as Proverbs 13:24 puts it bluntly, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
We live in the generation of protests and rebellions. The parents now were themselves the children of the most rebellious age in history — the 1960s and 1970s. Loyalty’ may make a great advertising campaign, but as a word it’s a forgotten concept. This is a spirit permeating the Christian church as well. There’s something wrong with what’s coming out from the fountain. For in the second place there is our response. For is it true of our attitude to our parents that we can say… THAT HE MAY SHOW THROUGH THEM HIS GRACE?
That He may show through them His grace
Are we really praying for the leaders of our churches, holding them highly because of their position? In the words of Hebrews 13:17, do we obey them so that their work is a joy, not a burden, because we know that benefits us when their work is a joy?
Congregation, GOD PUT PARENTS HERE IN HIS PLACE… THAT HE MAY SHOW THROUGH THEM HIS GRACE.
Submitting to God’s rightful authorities in our lives is true service. That’s the spirit Jesus had, and it’s the attitude He urged upon the slaves at Ephesus. In the words of Ephesians 6:5-8, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ . Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on your, but like slaves of Christ , doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord , not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does.”
The world looks for what it can get out of a deal. They don’t think of others. But the Gospel calls us to love them. Including, and even first of all, those over us! And we can! With those believing slaves of the 1 st Century, we can show who Jesus Christ is by how we live right where we are!
Young people, the next time there’s trouble at home, when you feel like exploding, hang on! Think about who you’re serving. Is it yourself, or someone else? You can use this same suggestion to help your friends. They’re having problems, just like you! Agreeing with their anger doesn’t deal with that. That means the water’s bitter. It’s not pouring out the Lord’s love.
We need to bring them back to the fountain which fixes what comes out. And we who are parents already, as we deal with our elderly parents, and there’s that frustration with their frailty in mind or body, let’s be patient. Just as we need to be fair to our children. Just think, people will go from one end of the earth to the other to search for long-lost parents. They know they’re missing something, or should I say — some one . So what are we doing?
Christians, do we honestly show we appreciate Mum and Dad? Through our honour, love, loyalty, obedience, submission and patience to them, does our faith shine brighter still? As we submit to God’s rule in this way, then we work with God in his intention for these authority relationships: THAT HE MAY SHOW THROUGH THEM HIS GRACE.
Sometimes it can be very hard. We honestly wonder, who’s up to all this? Which mother or father is perfect in their discipline? Where’s the child who’s perfect in obedience and showing respect? There’s only One who has fulfilled this commandment perfectly. He’s the One — our Lord Jesus Christ. Of Him it was said about His relation to His parents in Luke 2:51, He “was obedient to them.”
Congregation, let’s be glad He did! For by doing that He was able to pay for those sins of ours. All those times we poisoned the water, or tried adjusting the fountains for our own pleasure, He forgives. In Jesus the slate of a rebellious childhood and careless parenting can be wiped clean. Then the family can once again be the fountain pouring out the Lord’s love!
Let’s pray and work that it will show the most glorious display. For that is God’s way!
Amen.
PRAYER:
Let’s pray…
O LORD God, you choose to reflect your authority over this world in our human relationships through the family. You honour those families where you are central, and so set apart our children from the world.
May we then go forth from here determined to show that more and more. Then Christ’s blood truly flows through our spiritual veins.
In Him we pray,
Amen.